Do they Speak English Where You're From?

I'm at the Reference Desk and a student walks up.
"Bible."
Maybe it's slang I'm not hip to. Maybe "Bible" is the new "aloha." But I'm working and I need to dial down my Snark down from 11 where it's normally set, so I don't wish him " 'lo, Good Bible to you fellow Puritan" nor "Sup, Bible to ya."
"Bible?" I ask patiently.
"Bible." He says like it's actually helpful.
"Any particular one you'd like? They come in several styles." I sound like I'm trying to sell him a new hat.
"Uh, a Bible?" He say. Okay, he's just proved he's slightly smarter than a parrot.
"Numerous versions are available. Try BS393, 5th floor, and find one you like."
"I want one like Jesus read."
"That would likely be the Torah and probably in written in Aramaic, Greek or Hebrew. However I still suggest you look at BS393 and should you have any questions about the particular version please ask. Is this for an assignment?" Sure I'm snarky, but helpful.
"Just a Bible."
"Fifth Floor. BS393."

I think "Bible" should be a new slang word like "aloha" but then the Ultraconservatives would just have more reason to hate me.